Society is broken.
It is our job to fix it.
We can’t go on like this.
We need answers to the social problems we face – answers that will come from big society, not big government.
From social responsibility, not state control.
We are all in this together.
Under the new government, we will redistribute power and control from central state to individuals who can do the job better.
The new government will create the opportunity for people – the right people – to take responsibility.
This approach is in line with the spirit of the age –
the post-bureaucratic age…
the post-governmental age…
the post- political age.
We are all in this together.
The new government will improve our schools.
The new government will improve our health.
We will kick out all the politicians and bureaucrats with the wrong ideas.
We will be tough on crime, and tough on the causes of crime.
We will install CCTV cameras inside and outside every building.
We will encourage citizens to spy on their neighbours.
We will give police officers smarter uniforms.
We will condemn a little more, and understand a little less.
We will provide a fast-track two-tiered justice system, where those who can afford it can opt into a judicial process tailored to meet their needs.
The new government will outlaw crime.
The new government will be tough on education, and tough on the causes of education.
We will encourage duty and responsibility.
We will give people more power.
We will not treat people like children.
We will encourage marriage, especially between consenting adults of different sexes.
The new government will shake things up.
The new government will make things happen.
The new government will help everyday people.
The new government will create a big society.
The new government will create One Nation.
We are all in this together.
The new government will galvanise social renewal.
We will encourage tenants to buy their council houses. Those who are unable to do so will be relocated to Great Yarmouth and the surrounding area.
We will work directly with unaccountable people in order to provide social programmes in communities with the greatest needs.
We will reward hard work and enterprise.
We will give priority to hard working families.
We will provide British jobs for British people.
We will extend the incentive schemes of those working in the financial sector, and amend the tax systems accordingly.
The new government will expect unemployed people to work for their benefits.
The new government will cap the amount of benefits any one family can receive.
The new government will cap the amount of children unemployed families will be allowed to have.
The new government will cap the number of immigrants coming into the county.
We will only allow immigrants into the country who have useful skills, and whose work will benefit society – people such as doctors, nurses, farm labourers, and restaurant workers.
We will make it easier for British citizens to live and work abroad.
We will extend our influence in Europe by withdrawing from the EU.
We will encourage activists, curtain-twitchers and do-gooders to meet in front rooms to discuss ways to improve the neighbourhood.
We will be all things to all men.
We will pass legislation to ensure that only photogenic people are elected to serve as members of parliament.
We will change the system of voting from the outmoded and unpopular model currently in use, to one based on the systems used in talent and reality TV shows.
The new government will ensure that this country will get the government it deserves.
We are all in this together.
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